


time heals nothing, i'll never forget

by tfm



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-24
Updated: 2020-01-24
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:33:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22389496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tfm/pseuds/tfm
Summary: Beau still isn't sure if she wants to forgive. Yasha has a little advice in that regard.Post episode ninety two.
Relationships: Beauregard Lionett & Yasha, Beauregard Lionett/Yasha
Comments: 4
Kudos: 153





	time heals nothing, i'll never forget

**Author's Note:**

> On holiday, so this is all phone typing and posting. May write something longer when I have access to an actual computer again. 
> 
> Title from Never Forgive, Never Forget, by Arch Enemy.

'You don't have to forgive them, you know.' The voice came from behind Beau, and startled her from her thoughts. Some lookout she was. 

Usually, they didn't always keep watch when they had the dome; it afforded them a decent enough protection from the majority of the more mundane threats. Given that they were hunting a hag, though - moreover, a hag that knew they were coming - they had decided to keep watch. 

Beau had volunteered to take the first watch alone. It was well past midnight, and well past the time she had agreed to wake Nott and Caleb for second watch. The ground was still muddy from the rain, and Beau watched, the rocky outcropping under which she was seated affording little protection. Not that she was a stranger to the mud. It was just another one of those things about living in Kamordah. A shitty, muddy town full of assholes.

Beau watched as Yasha sat down beside her, the barbarian making no comment on the subpar quality of Beau's watch skills. 'You can read minds now?' Beau asked, jokingly, not even bothering to deny that that was one of many thoughts that had been running through her head over the hours since they had left Kamordah. She sighed. 'Like I said, I was kind of a shitty kid.' 

'Do you think I am responsible for what I did under Obann's control?' The question felt like it came out of nowhere, felt like a stab to the gut. 

'Of course not, Yash, we've all told you that multiple times.' Beau turned to look at Yasha; her blue make-up that normally covered the top half of her face had streaked in the rain. For all that, though, she looked… She looked sad. 

'If you can tell me that I am not to blame for everything that he put me through, then you can also believe that you are not responsible for your father's…shortcomings.' Beau was almost entirely certain that Yasha had made a last minute word swap there. That she had originally intended to say something much more vulgar. 

'That's different,' Beau said, automatically, before she'd even fully thought of a reason why. 'I wasn't mind-controlled. I had autonomy. You didn't.' 

'You told us how you were not allowed to do the things you wanted, how you were forced to do things his way. I do not think that is autonomy.' 

It was a fair point, Beau conceded. She had acted out because she  _ didn't  _ have autonomy. She had stolen, and drank, and done a lot of things she really shouldn't have done because her father hadn't wanted to ruin his precious legacy. 

'I just… I don't want to carry this all around with me. I don't want my shitty past fucking up what could be a pretty good future.' It felt so stupid, talking about a shitty past to Yasha, whose own past made Beau's look like a fucking fairytale. 

Still, Yasha gace said a sad sort of smile, and put a hand on Beau's shoulder. 

'That is not to say that we move on. We can forget, but not forgive. We just leave behind the parts that hurt, and move forward…without them.' Beau could no longer tell whether Yasha was talking about Zuala and her tribe, or about Obann and everything that had happened. Maybe a mixture of both. 

'Easier said than done,' Beau muttered. Yasha didn't disagree. 

There was a long pause. Beau felt a slight tension in the air. She wasn't sure if she was imagining it or not. 'For what it is worth… I like the person that you have become; in spite of your father, not because of him.' 

The words sent a wave of warmth through Beau's chest, temporarily staving off the chill from the rain. Wordlessly, Yasha wrapped her shawl around Beau's shoulders. 

'I am not saying you shouldn't stay up, but…you should at least be warm.' Yasha made to stand, and before Beau could stop herself, she blurted out:

'Wait.' 

Yasha waited. She looked at Beau expectantly, and Beau couldn't quite interpret the look in her eyes. 'Uh…just…you know, if you wanted to stay, I wouldn't say no to the company.' 

Yasha settled back in next to Beau, the ground squelching beneath her. 

After a little while, Beau leaned her head into the crook of Yasha's shoulder. 

A little while after that, the rain stopped. 


End file.
